Nanna was diagnosed with severe pulmonary fibrosis after having a heart attack and stent placement about 6 months ago. She is 87 and has had very minimal health issues aside from breast cancer that she had a bilateral mastectomy and macular degeneration that she takes meds for and apparently has not gotten worse as of her last appointment. She is so smart and while she gets short of breath quite easily these days and needs at least 4 naps a day, she listens to her body and still gets so much done throughout the day. She is very predictable with a variation here or there: wake up at 7 have a bagel or doughnut with bacon and tomato juice and coffee for breakfast while she reads the Jackson Sun and USA Today, then she lays down for her first puzzle working/nap, when she wakes up she either goes out to her yard, waters her plants, winds the clocks or some other household chore before she lays down for her second puzzle working/nap, she wakes up and gets another chore done then makes lunch which consists of prepackaged peanut butter cracker with bread and butter pickle, her own homemade pickles, pimento cheese, old chicken salad, pickled green beans, and green olives with sweet tea, then she lays down for her third puzzle working/nap, then she either goes to see Mary Margaret or goes to Walmart for random things or paints or bakes something, then she lays down for another naps before pulling out food for supper which consists of a frozen meal, bagged salad, Higs southern buffet, or other leftovers or worse case scenario frozen food from who knows how long ago. After supper she lays back down on the couch cause Wheel of Fortune comes on at 6:30 and then she chuckles out loud watching Two and Half Men or Everybody Loves Raymond or she says "kissy kissy" while watching a Hallmark movie. She goes to bed at 10 pm and doesn't wear her oxygen because she says "once you get on it you never get off." She's not necessarily wrong about that. It's a big decision to take this new medication that may or may not slow down the progress of the pulmonary fibrosis. She's taking it seriously and I'm proud she's getting a second opinion.
We've had a very sweet long weekend, little chats here and there, painting or weeding the garden together, her napping and me reading sharing 3 deliberate meals each day. Nanna is unassuming in her ability to care for herself and how strong willed she is. While she seems like a people pleaser and quite delicate, she has very certain opinions about many things and you'd be hard pressed to change her mind. She is staunchly against President Trump but is well aware that she can't go around Milan proclaiming this as she is one of the few if not only who oppose the current administration. She knows when she wants to drive and what she wants to eat and she makes it happen. She is aware of what she is capable of and she is not going to let someone else take over those tasks, but she'll give up the things that are out of her wheel house, kindly reminding regularly of things that need to get done.
There's a mouse living in the yellow bedroom. There are sticky pads throughout the house in hopes of catching it or them (who's to say how many they are) but I've seen the mouse multiple times and he has no trouble avoiding those pads. And sweet nanna said "Well I guess he has kind of been my little friend and I'll be outta town anyway, that would be a terrible way to die." She certainly does have a live and let live mentality. Her fish are other purposeful buddies who she feeds daily and gets down on her hands and knees to clean the filter. She pulls a weed or two when she's down stating out loud "If I would just come out here a do a little each day I'd be done." She has men come help with the painting of the house and the mowing and leaf blowing, it feels good to know that people are coming regularly. And then her friend Carolyn who will drop by, has a terrible sweating condition, and check in for various reasons. Molly calls every night and usually one other kid or grandkid calls sometime throughout the day. She is submitting 2 watercolor paintings to a show this month and is an active member of the Jackson Watercolor Society.
I asked her how she was about to keep going after grandaddy died. She said "well I still miss him every single day." But she also said "I never thought about being with someone else, I didn't want to have to take care of anyone else or have them take care of me." She said she had never though about "splitting" with grandaddy but seems like their biggest fights were about him not coming home at a decent hour. All in all she said, "Lizbith, in all my dreams I wouldn't imagine any other life I would want than the one I've had." That brings me such peace and joy for her but also in general that Nanna at 87 years old has lived exactly the way she wanted to.
This was the perfect weekend. I've been trying to focus on living more in faith versus fear and I've certainly not accomplished that over the weekend, but I did witness first hand what that looks like and I did soak up some of that even if it's still in the works of manifesting itself into my life and actions. I feel very grateful that I spent this time with Nanna and I truly look forward to as many more weekends like this as possible.
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