The day we didn't get married

Paul and I had planned to get married March 23, 2019.  We postponed said time to an undecided time in August 2018.  That was hard for me...more than hard it was devastating.  But as it turns out so many wonderful things have come from that hard point.  I have grown in ways I cannot explain.  My anxiety, that earlier I wouldn't have even claimed, is much more under control and Paul and I have reversed an unhealthy and destructive communication cycle into a healthy productive cycle.  We have spent the last 2 months feeling very full and thankful and also just enjoying each other.  We have put a down payment on our neighbors house and hope to close on it by the end of the month!  We are going to Machu Picchu at the end of the month.  We have Kim coming down, Stacy and John visiting and going to the beach with my family.  We have weddings and so many joyous things to look forward to.  We're meeting with Heidi to finalize the garage apartment behind the house and will start that project soon.  We are cleaning up the yard and house in prep for hosting my birthday party next week.  I just feel so happy to live my life with Paul.  I feel so full knowing he is who i can't wait to come home to, who I can't wait to start new adventures with and who I want to struggle with when that comes.  So while we are not married yet, I feel more sure and safe and grounded and excited in our relationship than I ever have....and that is actually the point of getting married anyway!