Middle ground

It's been a while.  Probably because I've been growing and for some reason I can only see gratitude on the other side of growth or right before I'm going to have a spurt.  I've been seeing a therapist, Tammy Brown, who in many ways has helped open a door to said growth.  I have also been more consistent attending church and Vox and went on a retreat where I learned more about the Enneagram and me as a Type 2.  I have learned that I have some really great qualities, ones I wouldn't trade and that genuinely do make the world a better place.  My ability to love quickly and fully, my instantaneous trust of most anyone, my drive to put others first, my longing for others to be happy and feel loved.  I wouldn't trade these qualities but man do I need to refine them because what I've found is that I can easily give, but then resent if I don't get back and I can also easily forego my own needs and lose myself therefore ending up quite confused and less than happy.